I had never seen one episode of Twin Peaks until this weekend.

I have no idea what I was up to the spring of ’90 that was so important that I couldn’t be bothered to at least sample the pilot, but alas, I was busy. (It was my senior year of college, I suspect that had something to do with it) And then I rarely join in on pop culture phenomenon once it has hit the levels this show hit, so I set it aside and figured I’d get to it one day.

That time is now.

First, I had no idea the pilot was so long, so I aborted my first attempt after watching the excruciatingly long opening credits, and picked it up the next afternoon.

Listen, I know David Lynch can be an acquired taste. I have never been all-in with him, or all-out. I just think he’s a weirdo that sometimes does cool shit. The first thing I noticed is that almost everyone cast in this show is a terrible, terrible actor. Or maybe, they’re just doing their weirdo Lynchian, stylized ‘acting’, and I don’t get it. (<—very real possibility) I actually laughed, multiple times over Sarah Palmer freaking out when she finds out Laura is dead. I mean, I really laughed, every time they cut to her. I felt a little bad about it, and then the giggles would begin again… *SMH* I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

But then Agent Cooper finally rolls into town, and everything perks right up. Oh, hello Agent! And now I am dying to know if we ever meet Diane. I hope not. There is no way anyone can live up to that much clear adoration and high level job competence.

I have no memory of the Sheriff character existing. I mean, I was alive and conscious when this show was on, and I remember the basic characters and actors who populated it, but this Sheriff guy, I have no idea.

So, everything else was basically a confirmation of all the things I had assumed about this show (both good and bad),up until we get inside the roadhouse the first time. And I was all…

A bunch of bikers sitting around listening to some chick caterwalling the creepy theme song is insane. Whackadoodle! (Julee Cruise, I don’t remember you at all, but it looks as though you had a moment in the early 90s. Once again, where was I, and what was I up to?)

There is no way the roadhouse doesn’t have something crazy going on there, right? You don’t mention The Roadhouse that many times during the episode, and then introduce it to us in such an insane manner and not give us other, cuckoo stuff later in the show, right? RIGHT?

Anyhoo! Intrigued enough to keep watching, and hey, even write about it! Although I don’t really like any of these people so far, except Agent Cooper and maybe that Sheriff guy. There is absolutely a part of me that hopes this serial killer he’s looking for starts offing all the teenagers that we have met so far. This has done nothing to quell my hatred for TV teens.