Why do the last couple episodes of a Supernatural season always seem so rushed? I mean, they have 22 episodes to build a story, and then the last two just take off like a freight train. I’m not complaining, really, just observing.

So, before I get to the penultimate episode recap, I would like to take a moment to comment on the “back-door spin-off” Bloodlines, we all wasted an hour of our lives on. Here’s the thing, it wasn’t all that terrible. It had a lot of the marks of a classic CW ensemble babe-fest (male and female babes, BTW), had a fun new twist on the monster genre, and HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH SUPERNATURAL.

That’s the real fail for me. Jamming the main characters into a storyline that has nothing to do with them or the show and calling it a ‘spin-off’ was just stupid. Will Sam and Dean ever even mention their trip to Chicago? Doubt it. Taking a small SPN character, like Garth, maybe, and expanding his world and the way he operates in it would have been a spin-off. Even Mork had a few episodes on Happy Days before they spun him off into Mork & Mindy (Yes, I am teh olds).

Anyhoo…

Abadon figures out a way to travel through time and bring back Crowley’s semi-dim son, Gavin, from 1723 to use as a pawn to get Crowley to do what she wants. IDK, seems kind of like a weak plan after a whole season of AbaddonIsTheGreatestMostPowerfulKnightOfHellEver. But whatever, I’ll bite. Abaddon tortures poor Gavin until Crowley gives. Well, that was easy.

Meanwhile, the sweetest little angel, Castiel, has taken to his role in organizing the angels to a level of having a super duper central office of operations at the Central Municipal Power Co. ‘The Commander’ (heh) Castiel summons Sam and Dean to interrogate some poor chatty angel named Ezra, who was dumb enough to shoot off his mouth about working for Metatron in front of the wrong angels. Cas is so happy to see the wonderful Winchesters that after he hugs Dean, he hugs Sammy too. Aww.

Sam and Dean have a hoot and a half making fun of Ezra, cajoling him until he admits that he was really a Metatron cast-off, but did drop a couple of nuggets like Metatron gathering an elite group of angels, and something about a portable portal that can’t be found? We have no idea if any of this is reliable info, but the scene getting Ezra to talk was wonderful in its snarky-ness and condescension.

Unfortunately for Ezra, he is found later stabbed to death, leading everyone to surmise there is a traitor in their midst. Which I am sure we will explore in the next episode. Poor Cas, blindsided once again.

 

Sammy and Cas have a heart to heart about Gadreel, which leads Cas to arrange a secret meeting with said angel, positing a double agent plan to figure out who the turncoat is. BTW, Gadreel may the sorriest angel ever. He so desperately wants redemption, but he is such a poor judge of character… Let’s see if he redeems himself, eh?

Dean is still having rage flashbacks due to the Mark of Cain Rage. Sammy looks worried, as usual. After a call from Crowley, and a super gross retrieval of the First Blade, Sam and Dean head off to the trap that Abaddon has set for them. Except Dean executive decisions to ignore Crowley’s ‘Poughkeepsie’ warning, sending Sam off to the basement while Dean uses the Mark of Cain Rage to surprizingly take out Abaddon. I mean really, I was surprized she went down that easy! A little wind and some DeanRaging and BOOM. And not in the finale! Hmm.

We get an end of the episode convo between the beautiful brothers, where Dean is all protective older brother, and Sammy, bless him, is rational and caring instead of being cranky Sam. Which leads us to the big end-of-the-season dilemma for our boys. Dean becoming utterly addicted to the power of the First Blade/Mark of Cain combo platter, and Sammy giving one of his worried puppy faces, not sure how to proceed. Because after all of these years, and all the things these boys have been through, all that they have lost over the years, can you really blame Dean for wanting to finally feel like he has the upper hand? Of course, this is most likely the worst version of that kind of power, but that is for Sam and probably Castiel to deal with. I am sure Dean’s struggle will be an important factor in the clash between Castiel and Metatron.

Oh yeah, Crowley’s partially dim son is sent off into the world on his own, out of time and place, and probably to be seen again after making some decisions that will put our boys into some nasty situation.

Quotes!

Crowley: “No one in the history of torture has been tortured like the torture you’ll be tortured with.”

Gavin: “Can you cook a pigeon on it?”

Gavin: “Sold it? For another three inches of willy?”

Crowley: “Squirrel, I hope you were nice to your father.” Dean: “What? Shut up.”

Sam: “Dean. Dean, stop! You can stop!” (Me: “Or can he????????”)

Crowley: “I’ll cheer the day, when the last trace of humanity leaves me. Feelings.”

Crowley: “You’ll be fine. Just avoid cheap whiskey and cheap hookers. Look at me, getting all fatherly.”

 

Next! The angel war resumes? Something terrible happens? It is the season finale after all.

Thanks to AllTheSupernaturalGifs tumblr for these awesome SPN gifs. You do us all a GREAT service. 🙂