I dare any Supernatural fan to have walked away from this week’s episode without their heart torn out of their chest. “Oh”, Kripke said, “you’d like to see Heaven would you? Well, let’s have a stroll then, shall we?”

After last week’s zombie fest – a perfectly gory and horrifying, if apocalypse light episode – I was ready for some movement on the continuing story of the Winchesters v. Lucifer. But after ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ is it actually Winchesters v. God? Will it ultimately be Dean/Michael v. Sam/Lucifer? Or are we still just plain old Good v. Evil? Like my other deep thinkin’ show, Lost, this one has blurred the lines of good and evil, sometimes to a frustrating end. If you grew up being taught that you were either a good person or a bad one, it is quite disconcerting when you find out that the world is actually a big vat of grey. Each step we take with the Winchesters their world grows more grey and bleak.

Not to mention that Kripke loves to torture us, right along with our Beautiful Brothers Winchester. Even when they were slogging through, fighting their familial demons along with the demon-y demons, we were given Castiel to help sheppard them, and to give us, the viewers, some semblance of hope. But now, even Castiel’s unyielding faith is being slowly pounded out of him. Our boys step daddy, Bobby, has been knee-capped and taken out of the fight, and his heart broken yet again. Honestly, how much more can we take? Watching Dean get his heart broken again and again, while in Heaven of all places, was rough. It in turn became almost unbearable when he tossed the amulet necklace that was arguably the one last connection he had that proved the love he so desperately wanted from his brother. How sad is it that while Dean has spent his life protecting, nurturing and raising Sam, only to find out that Sam’s happiest memories involved anything but his own family. At least Dean had Metallicar up there with him, because he certainly didn’t get any relief or joy.

I gotta say, I am enjoying the hell outta these episodes. Nothing like angsty existential drama with a dash of absurdism to keep me entertained. Egotistical Angels and gleeful Demons? I am in. Happy to see Ash and Pam again, and the whole concept of Kripke’s Heaven, everyone’s own little cell of heaven, but connected to each  other, spanning out from The Garden. The idea that even in your own heaven, an Angel can come and ruin your day appeals to me, especially if the Angel is as deliciously horrible as Zachariah. Speaking of Zach, how many of you out there think this version of Heaven may just be another trick? He obviously manipulated the scene where he was hitting on Mary, so who’s to say that the whole thing wasn’t a fevered version of the ‘real’ thing. In the end, though, that doesn’t really matter. Dean is heart broken, Sam is guilty, Castiel is dejected, Bobby is helpless, God is missing and I just want my boys to be happy again.